I’ve been lurking for most of the year so far, having taken some time off from active conversation as we worked through some fairly significant issues here. We aren’t done yet, but let’s just say we’ve come a long, LONG way. I came out of lurkdom for this conversation mainly because I wanted to extend my condolences and encouragement in this situation. I think you’ve already gotten some really good feedback for what you can do for your own safety and security, along with protecting your kids. I can’t improve on what’s already been said in that regard. I will say that having some pretty steep issues of my own, and being married to someone with steep issues of his own, yea there were some moments in the last six months where we each thought it was time to toss in the towel. I think we’re past that point now, even though we still have a lot of work to do. We’re each getting our own financial lives in order, sometimes working individually and sometimes working together. Having relied on him the last three years way more than I should have, I can say that yes it feels darn good to be working my way out of that position again. So I applaud you on your efforts to date, and I’d encourage you to hang in there and keep plugging away with some of the steps you’re already taking, along with some of the suggestions made the last few days. It does get discouraging and frustrating at times because we can see where we want to be, and it’s very clear we’re not there yet. But just keep plugging away with it. Then, perhaps after you’ve gotten yourself even more financially secure, you can deal with your marriage issues from a position of strength rather than vulnerability. Either he’ll meet you with that effort or he won’t, but you’ll come out ahead either way.
I hope you continue to let us know how you’re doing, and just know that you’re moving in the right direction even if some days it feels like you’re not moving at all. Keep your chin up as best you can, and do something nice for yourself once in awhile to remind yourself that you’re totally worth all this hard work.