Monthly Archives: January 2016

Good morning everyone

I’ve been lurking for most of the year so far, having taken some time off from active conversation as we worked through some fairly significant issues here. We aren’t done yet, but let’s just say we’ve come a long, LONG way. I came out of lurkdom for this conversation mainly because I wanted to extend my condolences and encouragement in this situation. I think you’ve already gotten some really good feedback for what you can do for your own safety and security, along with protecting your kids. I can’t improve on what’s already been said in that regard. I will say that having some pretty steep issues of my own, and being married to someone with steep issues of his own, yea there were some moments in the last six months where we each thought it was time to toss in the towel. I think we’re past that point now, even though we still have a lot of work to do. We’re each getting our own financial lives in order, sometimes working individually and sometimes working together. Having relied on him the last three years way more than I should have, I can say that yes it feels darn good to be working my way out of that position again. So I applaud you on your efforts to date, and I’d encourage you to hang in there and keep plugging away with some of the steps you’re already taking, along with some of the suggestions made the last few days. It does get discouraging and frustrating at times because we can see where we want to be, and it’s very clear we’re not there yet. But just keep plugging away with it. Then, perhaps after you’ve gotten yourself even more financially secure, you can deal with your marriage issues from a position of strength rather than vulnerability. Either he’ll meet you with that effort or he won’t, but you’ll come out ahead either way.

I hope you continue to let us know how you’re doing, and just know that you’re moving in the right direction even if some days it feels like you’re not moving at all. Keep your chin up as best you can, and do something nice for yourself once in awhile to remind yourself that you’re totally worth all this hard work.

re: landline is how the kids get hold of us

Then I would leave it in. In no way, shape, or form, would I leave your kids without a way to get hold of you in your current situation. The only other option is to get that 4th line from TMobile and use it as the “house phone” if you can trust that your husband won’t take off with it.

Another option is if it makes financial sense, is to swap it out for a WalMart $15/month “landline,” but that is WiFi dependent. When we got rid of cable and landline, dropping the “bundle package” only saved us $30 a month. But I was so annoyed at our cable company that we did it anyway. But my kids are older, and I am usually always home, and my kids all have cell phones on the “one flat rate for the entire family” from tmobile.